Learning Objectives
By the end of this section, you will be able to:
- Describe the nature of friendships in early childhood
- Explain the role of play in social and emotional development
- Identify types of aggression exhibited in early childhood
- Identify the motivation for social withdrawal in early childhood
- Identify prosocial behavior exhibited in early childhood
It just keeps happening. Laura’s caregiver grandparents have received yet another phone call from her daycare center saying she has been disruptive, vocal, aggressive, and disobedient. They’ve been warned that if Laura doesn’t calm down and comply with instructions, she may be dismissed from the center, and they’ll need to find new childcare.
Laura’s grandparents are trying to teach her positive play behaviors like sharing and taking turns, but their sweet baby has grown into a frustrated, explosive four-year-old who easily becomes overwhelmed by the world around her. They hoped that it was just a phase, but the daycare director insists that Laura’s behavior is unusual and possibly indicative of long-term aggression.
Laura’s grandparents decide to face this head-on. They see their family doctor, modify Laura’s diet, set an earlier bedtime, reduce screen time, provide more active sports outlets, and take her to play groups on the weekend to help foster better communication and social skills. They hope this will work out eventually, but they know for now they are taking the advice of experts and doing as much as they can.
In this section, you'll learn how young children begin to navigate their social world of peers and friends and develop the necessary skills to form lasting social bonds.
Peers and Friendship
After parents and siblings, peers are the largest socializing agent in young childhood. Peers are children who are similar in age, or in terms of their cognitive, physical, and emotional development. They are children’s everyday acquaintances, their neighbors, their classmates at daycare and preschool, and other children they meet at playgrounds or play centers. Learning how to interact with peers is different from learning to interact with older siblings or adults; children often need to initiate play, communicate in age-appropriate ways, and make compromises such as sharing and turn-taking.
A unique type of peer is a friend. In developmental research, a friend is defined as someone you enjoy being around and look forward to seeing again, and who feels the same about you. Thus a friend is a peer with whom a child has developed a mutual affection and emotional attachment (Figure 6.19). Friendships are rewarding; they offer companionship, emotional support, and opportunities for cognitive, social, and emotional development.
Friendships in Development
Though the formation of friendships evolves as children grow and mature, at all ages it is based on proximity and similarity. The term proximity refers to the circumstance of living, schooling, or vacationing near each other and on a similar schedule so there is time to socialize. The degree of similarity or resemblance needed for friendship varies by developmental age, but can be based on a match of physical characteristics, interests and hobbies, or emotional temperament. Children enjoy meeting people with similar physical and demographic characteristics. Thus, friend selection in early childhood is typically based on superficial similarities such as favorite color, street address, or the letter of a child’s first name.
Link to Learning
Peers and friends shape social development in childhood. Watch this video about friendship in childhood to learn more.
Outcomes of Friendship
Forming friendships in early childhood is enormously beneficial. Children who have more opportunities to play with friends tend to develop cognitively in terms of perspective-taking, emotionally in terms of empathy and compassion, academically in terms of motivation and achievement, and even physically in terms of gross motor development from having more opportunities for outdoor play. Table 6.5 shows how benefits of friendship in early childhood extend across all major domains of development.
| Cognitive | Social | Emotional | Physical |
|---|---|---|---|
| Perspective-taking | Companionship | Self-esteem | Gross motor skills |
| Problem-solving skills | Communication skills | Secure attachment | Fine motor skills |
| Academic achievement | Conflict resolution skills | Self regulation and stress relief | Activity level |
| Executive function | Peer acceptance | Empathy and compassion | Balance and coordination |
Play in Early Childhood
Early childhood often marks the beginning of friendships that will change and grow over time. It is also a time of play, which fosters holistic development in all domains. Children begin to develop preferences for whom they play with and how they play, and they may have imaginary friends (Figure 6.20).
As you learned in Chapter 5 Physical and Cognitive Development in Early Childhood (Ages 3 to 6), Parten’s work on social play shed light on its value in fostering social skills and relationships (Parten, 1932). Social play, such as associative and cooperative play, helps children develop communication skills, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution skills. Parten also found it an essential component in forming and maintaining friendships. For preschoolers, unstructured or child-led play is particularly important (Houser et al., 2016). It teaches children to take turns, share, and cooperate with others. They learn to express their emotions and navigate social situations (Wang, 2022).
Play Preferences
Although all types of play can appear from ages five and onward, different children have play preferences that describe how they prefer to spend their free time. One type, structured play, often consists of organized games, crafts, songs, and activities led by teachers and parents, during which children follow along. Another type, free play, happens in unstructured time during which children can select their own activity, such as during a school recess, in an afterschool play center, or on the playground. During free play, when children are surrounded by same-age peers, they are better able to play in ways they most prefer.
Link to Learning
Play is the work of childhood. Watch this video about the different types of play to learn more.
Some children may prefer to play with other children during free play. This can include playing one-on-one with another child in a dyad, or group of two. Overall, girls tend to select dyadic play more often than boys do. A pair of children may spend their free time talking, passing a ball, or doing a puzzle together. Social play can also include large-group play by three or more children. Groups can spend their time playing a physically active game such as tag, or pretend and dramatic play. Boys tend to gravitate towards large-group play more often than girls do, but large groups can be mixed-gender as well (Hanish et al., 2023).
Life Hacks
Can Adults Play?
Just like young children, adults can have a preference for play behavior. Perhaps you like to go out dancing with friends, or perhaps you’d rather stay in and read a book. Maybe you’d like to go out dancing but you’re anxiously waiting for an invite from others. Just like children, adults can be social or introverted and shy. Regardless of your age, play is beneficial for all.
Sometimes adults worry they will be judged for playing, but consider the play they may already enjoy. Have you ever finished a jigsaw puzzle or a craft all by yourself? That’s solitary play. What about sitting next to your best friend, independently scrolling on your phones or reading for pleasure? That’s parallel play. Have you ever attended a painting class or a crafting workshop in which you shared materials with those around you but made your own piece? That’s associative play. Finally, have you ever played an enthralling and competitive board game with others? That’s social play.
We develop play skills early in childhood and continue to use them throughout our lifespan. Thus, if a child asks you to play, before you say no, consider your shared interests and play preferences. Perhaps you can kick a ball back and forth outside or engage in pretend play with dolls. If you aren’t sure what to say, consider belting out some of your favorite song lyrics or just follow the child’s lead. Most children thrive on play and interaction, so as a bonus you’re helping boost their healthy development while you get to be silly too!
For some children, free play is an opportunity for solitary play, and they may spend their time with puzzles, skipping ropes, books, or blocks. Solitary play is considered beneficial and adaptive, because it has a constructive goal and allows for the development of new skills. A preference for solitary play is very different from social reticence, in which a child is alone and not engaged in an activity. A socially reticent child may just wander a playground, watching others play but not doing anything themselves, or they may sit idly waiting for free play to be over. Social reticence is not considered adaptive because there is no obvious goal, though if infrequent it is not problematic.
During one episode of free play, the same child may engage in dyadic, group, and solitary play as well as socially reticent behavior. Over time, children who spend more time in group or dyadic play tend to be more social and outgoing, children who spend more time in solitary play tend to be more introverted (or low in extraversion), and children who spend more time displaying socially reticent behavior tend to be more anxious, socially rejected, and immature in terms of social emotional skills. These relationships are likely bidirectional in that we choose play environments that fit our preferences and personalities and are also shaped by our play environments. As in many areas of developmental psychology, our environment and our individual selves interact to shape our long-term development.
Imaginary Friends
Some children may not engage in social play but enjoy having an imaginary friend. Early theorists were concerned about imaginary friends and believed they were a sign of social ineptness, immaturity, or other developmental problems. However, empirical research has found the opposite (Armah & Landers-Potts, 2021). Children who have an active imaginary friendship tend to be higher in social competence, communication, and empathy (Gleason, 2017).
Aggressive Behavior
Prosocial skills do not come automatically to some children, who instead gravitate toward aggressive strategies in socializing with peers and friends. In early childhood, most aggression is physical and consists of purposeful harm or intimidation of harm toward people or property. It can have various causes, predictors, and outcomes.
Causes of Aggression
Not all physical aggression has the same cause. Sometimes a child can be physically aggressive when overstimulated, frustrated, or reacting to a stressful situation. At other times a child may want to achieve a goal, such as regaining their toy from another child, delaying going to bed, or avoiding eating a disliked meal. Aggression can be targeted or not, and a child can be either the instigator or the reactor in an aggressive situation with a peer. Figure 6.21 offers a breakdown of the unique dimensions of physical aggression in childhood. Any combination of characteristics from across the two columns is possible. For instance, aggression can be hostile and targeted, or a child can be both antisocial and the reactor.
Some children display high levels of hostile, reactive, untargeted aggression due to a lack of adaptive coping strategies. Teaching them social skills, relaxation techniques, and communication skills can help to decrease frequency and intensity of aggressive behavior. For other children who display instrumental, targeted behavior and who are commonly the instigator or attacker, other long-term interventions maybe be necessary, such as family therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy.
Physical aggression tends to peak in early childhood, at about the age of two or three, and to decrease as children start to develop stronger self-regulatory skills. However, in some children, high levels of physical aggression persist through adolescence and even beyond.
Predictors of Aggression
As you learned earlier, some aggression is normal for all children in early childhood. However, in some this aggression may be persistent or exist at a high, maladaptive level. Such maladaptive aggression is typically a result of a complex set of predictors including the environment, genes, and epigenetics—that is, the influence of environment on gene expression (Palumbo et al., 2018). In addition, aggression is associated with family size and maternal age. Parents who had their first child at a young age and families with more children are more likely to have aggressive children than parents who had their first child at an older age and have fewer children. In addition, parental stress levels, parental substance use, and parental hostility are major predictors of aggression in early childhood (Lee et al., 2022). Finally, children often learn aggressive behaviors from watching and mimicking family members. A parent who resolves conflict by yelling, slamming doors, or using corporal punishment is more likely to have a young child who displays aggressive behaviors (Stover et al., 2016).
Link to Learning
Aggressive behaviors can be very complex. Watch this video about some of the complexities of aggression to learn more.
For some children but not all, physical aggression can also develop in response to peer interactions, as with reactive aggression. Children who are not accepted or are actively rejected by their peers, or who form friendships with other aggressive children, may be more likely to become aggressive over time (Ttofi et al., 2012). Children who belong to a friendship group of several aggressive children are more likely to bond and find companionship in being aggressive, and to reward each other for being aggressive.
Finally, aggression may arise from temporary and situational stress. Children who are experiencing stress at home, such as marital conflict or divorce, and children who are struggling at school may be more likely to display aggression. Children who have undiagnosed learning disabilities, communication problems, or sensory sensitivities may be more likely to display aggression to deal with their frustrating situation. The relationship between exposure to aggression and later expression of internalizing and/or externalizing problems in childhood is a highly individualized process (Reijntjes et al., 2010; Schoeler et al., 2018).
Outcomes of Aggression
Aggression is a concern to parents and teachers because it is linked with elevated risks for a variety of negative developmental outcomes. Children who are highly aggressive for a persistent length of time throughout their childhood are more likely to fall behind academically, to struggle to develop healthful and adaptive social emotional skills, have strained relationships with parents, siblings, friends, and teachers, and feel intensely angry and hostile toward the world around them. Severe aggression in young childhood is also linked with delinquency, school suspension and expulsion, and criminality in adolescence (Stover et al., 2016).
Social Withdrawal and Shyness
On the playground, some children might be prosocial and others aggressive. Still others may avoid interactions completely. This third type of children’s social skills is observed among those who socially withdraw from interactions with others due to feelings of shyness or anxiety, or an interest in their own solitude. The term social withdrawal describes the removal of yourself from the peer group and avoidance of peer interactions. Neither shyness nor social withdrawal is the same as antisocial behavior.
The Approach-Avoidance Model
According to the approach-avoidance model, children may have high or low motivations for approach and avoidance. The approach motivation represents a child’s desire to play and be with others. Children who prefer to play alone have a low approach motivation, and outgoing and highly social children have a high approach motivation. The avoidance motivation represents the child’s desire to avoid negative evaluations or peer rejection. An anxious or fearful child has a high avoidance motivation, and a calm, confident child has a low avoidance motivation.
Using combinations of the approach and avoidance motivations, we can identify three types of social withdrawal: introversion, avoidance, and shyness (Figure 6.22). Introversion describes children who prefer to play alone and are happy to engage in solitary play. Avoidance is characteristic of children who withdraw from peers because they have been victimized or rejected from the peer group. Finally, shyness describes children who have both high approach and high avoidance; although they would like to play with others, they are fearful about how others may judge or perceive them or too nervous to invite themselves. Shyness tends to manifest on a playground in hovering and onlooking behavior. Children who have high approach and low avoidance are social.
Predictors of Shyness
Shyness has biological components, such as faster resting heart rate, increased vagal tone (activity in the vagus nerve in the chest), heightened levels of the stress hormone cortisol, and increased breathing rate. Shyness is also tied to family factors, such as maternal anxiety and negative self-talk (Gunter et al., 2020). Young children who hear their parents worry a lot and express concerns about pleasing others are more likely to develop feelings of shyness (Volbrecht & Goldsmith, 2010). Finally, children who perceive ambiguous situations as dangerous or threatening are more likely to be fearful of social situations (Hummel et al., 2017). That is, shy children are more likely to judge neutral faces as being angry than their non-shy peers. This can be based on the child’s temperamental shyness or on early exposure to threatening and adverse events (Gross, 2002)
Feelings of shyness tend to increase when children experience novel situations, are in intensely social situations, become the center of attention, or are being formally evaluated. Many children experience shyness at the start of a new school year when they are interacting with new classmates and a new teacher and adjusting to new academic expectations. For most children, this shyness subsides after a few weeks of school. But for some extremely shy children, feelings of anxiety and timidness persist throughout the school year.
Outcomes of Shyness
Feeling shy around others can inhibit the development of friendships, prevent children from practicing and using their social skills, and foster a sense of isolation and loneliness. Although moderate amounts of shy behavior can be healthy and typical, extremely shy children may experience a low sense of belonging, a high level of anxiety, and increased feelings of peer rejection (Jarcho et al., 2019). Though shyness is likely to vary across cultures, in those that value group-oriented goals it is less likely to pose any risk (Chen, 2019; Yiu et al., 2020). Addressing feelings of shyness and offering interventions by partnering shy children with more outgoing peers, teaching social skills, and offering cognitive behavioral therapy are all valuable strategies.
Prosocial Behavior
Early childhood is a time of budding social skills. The term prosocial behavior refers to cooperative, assertive, and socially competent interactions with others, such as helping, sharing, being kind, inviting others, and showing concern (Figure 6.23).
Children who display prosocial behavior often have good self-regulatory skills. That is, they can identify their emotions, they are able to calm themselves down when they are upset and frustrated, and they have developed adaptive coping strategies. Moreover, such children tend to show high levels of empathy (Warden & MacKinnon, 2001). Empathy requires both cognitive skills such as perspective taking and affective components such as emotional concern. Finally, children who are more prosocial tend to show high levels of cooperation. Cooperation is the ability to work with others both altruistically (to help them) and assertively (to help yourself), and it is neither passive and submissive nor dominant and aggressive.
Children who are prosocial tend to have parents who demonstrate and model prosocial skills. Parents who explain the rationale behind their expectations, and who model self-regulation, conflict resolution, and effective assertive communication techniques, are more likely to have prosocial children. However, children’s temperament can also influence the development of their prosocial skills. Those who are lower in reactivity, are higher in approach, and have greater positive affect are more likely to display prosocial skills. Prosocial behavior is linked with a variety of positive developmental outcomes such as happiness, friendship, and academic achievement (van der Storm et al., 2022).
References
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