12.1 The Development of Self in Early Adulthood

The Social Clock and the Cultural Context of Social Development

Cultural expectations about normative behavior and achievements are often associated with age and create a social clock by which we judge the progress of ourselves and others (Neugarten et al., 1965). Social clock expectations do not necessarily reflect what is real or typical but instead are idealized milestones. For example, in the United States a widespread expectation is that college education should begin immediately after high school graduation and be completed within four years, by age 22. In reality, fewer than half of U.S. college students complete their college education within this timeframe (U.S. Department of Education, 2019).

Social clock milestones are set by a person’s culture and generation, as well as their age. Take the developmental task of leaving your parents’ home. The number of young U.S. adults who live with their parents has increased somewhat over the last 75 years, and young men are more likely to do so than young women (Hatfield, 2023), but the percentage has peaked during times of national emergency, such as during the Great Depression (48 percent) and the start of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020 (52 percent) (Fry et al., 2020). (Figure 12.3).

Figure 12.3 The percentage of young U.S. adults living with their parents has gradually increased over the last 125 years, peaking during national emergencies such as the Great Depression and the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. (attribution: Copyright Rice University, OpenStax, under CC BY 4.0 license)

Currently one-third of U.S. adults aged 18-34 live with their parents. Compare that number with recent reports from the European Union, where in many countries such as Italy, Greece, and Croatia, two-thirds of young adults live at home with their parents (Figure 12.4).

Figure 12.4 A much higher percentage of young men and women live with their parents in many European countries than in the United States. (attribution: Copyright Rice University, OpenStax, under CC BY 4.0 license)

If we measure success in young adulthood by the person’s well-being in their changing roles and contexts, what happens when a young adult or others perceive them to be on or off time with their social clock? In many cultures, most developmental tasks of young adulthood are considered positive (such as graduation) (Shanahan & Busseri, 2019), and not completing them may be seen negatively.

Self-evaluation based on completion of developmental tasks in young adulthood appears to be cross-cultural. In both the culture of Turkey and the culture of Switzerland, young adults report greater life satisfaction when they achieve these goals. What differs across cultures are the developmental priorities: Life satisfaction of Turkish young adults is positively affected by on-time achievement of traditional family tasks such as marriage and parenthood, whereas Swiss young adults were more focused on individual achievements such as education and independent living (Pekel-Uludağlı & Akbaş, 2019; Krings et al., 2008). These differing priorities are echoed by interviews with diverse young adults in the United States. Those from immigrant families and ethnic and racial minorities are more likely to view the transition to adulthood as preparation for “the roles and responsibilities of interdependence,” such as living within or contributing to an intergenerational family household or business, than to prioritize individuality and independence (Swartz et al., 2017, p. 280).

Overall, today’s young adults appear to care about the traditional goals prescribed by their social clocks such as career and marriage, but they also pursue personal priorities like independence, maturity, and confidence. Those in the United States report that normative milestones like graduating and starting a career matter to them but are not prerequisites to adult maturity, and thus they can be flexible about when they complete them (Swartz et al., 2017). Based on hundreds of interviews around the country, Swartz and colleagues (2017) concluded that today’s young adults “felt fairly comfortable with the uncertainty and ambiguity – social status-wise – of the transition to adulthood. They took it as almost natural and inevitable, nearly desiring and celebrating the lack of certainty for its flexibility, freedom, and openness” (p. 4).

This generational shift in young adults’ perspective on the social clock is likely an adaptation to the rapid pace of cultural change. In addition to staying longer in their parents’ home, they are also prolonging their education, marrying later, having children later, changing jobs more frequently, and even remaining dependent on their parent’s healthcare plan longer than previous generations (Vespa, 2017; Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, 2023). What accounts for these changes? Young adults are responding to the changing circumstances of the world around them that have sometimes created more opportunities but also set up more potential obstacles (Swartz et al., 2017). That said, many young adults still might feel some stress or anxiety if those in their close friend or social group seem to be achieving developmental tasks before they do. Feeling "off time" from your social group - particularly if you are behind their schedule - can create some invisible pressure to adhere to the social clock.

Opportunities and Obstacles

Today’s young adults can search for educational and employment opportunities, dating partners, and new homes without getting out of bed. They can learn, work, and maintain personal connections online. Access to education, information, and social connection has increased, and the methods by which young adults interact with their world have changed.

Young U.S. adults are also living in an increasingly diverse nation. According to the U.S. Census Diversity Index, in 2010 the chance that two randomly chosen individuals would be from different racial or ethnic groups was just over half, at 54.9 percent (U.S. Census Bureau, 2020) (Figure 12.5). By 2020 it was 61.6 percent, given greater diversity among younger than older age groups (Menchaca et al., 2023; U.S. Census Bureau, 2020). This growing diversity is reflected in the increasing variety of experiences in emerging adulthood, and it disrupts the assumptions of a one-size-fits-all social clock. However, sometimes a young person’s possible pathways are limited by economic, social, and cultural constraints, which we must also consider when navigating the shifting cultural landscape.

Figure 12.5 Diversity is more prevalent in younger age groups in the U.S. (credit: modification of work “Figure 2. 2020 Diversity Index: Population Under the Age of 18” by U.S. Census Bureau/United States Census Bureau, Public Domain)

Economic conditions can impede young adults’ progress on developmental goals like continuing their education and living independently. Over the last 40 years, the United States and other nations have increasingly evolved into knowledge economies in which financial success depends largely on technological skill and innovation, scientific knowledge and progress, and intellectual breakthroughs (Berkes & Gaetani, 2023). The industries that accomplish these tasks rely on a more highly educated workforce. Not surprisingly, then, 74 percent of the high school class of 2023 reported they wanted to go to college (Bauer-Wolf, 2023). However, only 66 percent expect to attend, and in many states like Arizona, Idaho, and Utah, the percentage that enroll is 50 percent or lower (NCHEMS, 2018). Many cite cost as a major barrier. Even when adjusting for inflation, the average cost of attending a 4-year college has increased 180 percent in the last 40 years (McGurran & Hahn, 2023). Higher education isn’t the only avenue to independence with financial barriers: With sky-rocketing home prices, interest rates, and utility costs, a recent report concluded that housing hasn’t been so unaffordable in the United States since 1984 (Bahney, 2023).

Robbins and Wilner (2001) coined the term quarter-life crisis to describe feelings of helplessness, panic, indecision, and apprehension that may accompany the expectations of emerging adulthood. In a meta-analysis of research published over the last ten years, Hasyim and colleagues (2024) identified both individual and environmental factors that may influence whether a young adult experiences these feelings (Figure 12.6). Inflexibly committing to goals without space for reflection can make young people feel trapped and anxious. This anxiety can be lowered by perceived social support and spirituality. However, when young adults perceived their family or community as exerting too much influence, pressure, or judgment, it increased the likelihood of negative experiences during the early adult transition, particularly for adults from families with collectivistic cultural values.

Figure 12.6 The complexities of social support and social pressure can be challenging for young adults to navigate. (Credit: modification of "Varsity students hanging out" by zoey/nappy, Public Domain)

Faced with so many challenges and choices, however, young adults are particularly good at adaptive decision-making. They can efficiently review and integrate information in task-specific ways (Lindow & Lang, 2022). Perhaps that is why, contrary to the looming threat of the quarter-life crisis, reported life satisfaction typically increases for most over the course of young adulthood (Switek & Easterlin, 2018). Even when he used the term crisis within his own work, Erikson did not mean “impending catastrophe” but rather “a necessary turning point” (Erikson, 1968, p. 16). And consistent with the research, relationships with others are important to developmental success during that turning point in time.

Theory of Psychosocial Development

Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development in early adulthood is called intimacy vs. isolation, reflecting the challenge of establishing close and trusting relationships with others. While these relationships might include romantic or sexual ones, Erikson was clear that psychological intimacy can be achieved in any relationship in which you demonstrate “the ability to fuse your identity with someone else’s without the fear that you are going to lose something yourself” (Evans, 1967, p. 48), and that trusting partnerships can be found in the context of “friendship, combat, leadership, love, and inspiration” (Erikson, 1959, p. 101) (Figure 12.7).

Figure 12.7 Strong bonds between adults can develop in contexts that require sacrifice, commitment, and trust. (Credit: Modification of "Virginia National Guard" by The National Guard/Flickr CC BY 2.0)

Erikson asserted that intimacy, whether with a close friend, fellow soldier, or romantic partner, requires a commitment that builds trust, but also vulnerability and willingness to sacrifice and compromise. Those unwilling to experience it are likely to become psychologically and socially isolated. On the surface this developmental challenge can appear to undermine the need for increasing independence and self-sufficiency that characterizes many of the developmental tasks discussed earlier. However, research on early adulthood is clear: Social connectedness is key to a successful early adult transition. Indeed, early adulthood is associated with increasing feelings of family obligation, and those who report feeling needed and useful to their friends and family are more likely to also report receiving greater support and experiencing higher well-being during the early-adult transition (Fuligni & Pederson, 2002; Fuligni et al., 2022) (Figure 12.8).

Figure 12.8 Young adults who feel needed and useful to their friends and family experience higher well-being. (Credit: Modification of "Baking Duo" by Disabled and Here, CC BY 4.0)

Related Theories of Early Adult Development

Based on his 60-year longitudinal study of more than 500 men as they embarked on adulthood, psychologist George Valliant (1977, 1993, 2002) affirmed Erikson’s developmental framework and the early adult challenge of intimacy vs. isolation, in particular as it applied to men in the cohort Valliant studied. But Valliant added two new elements: First, he inserted a transitional stage at the end of early adulthood that he called “career consolidation,” a time to reconcile the early-adulthood tasks of intimacy and career exploration and a bridge to the generative priorities of middle adulthood.

Second, Valliant documented that adults cope with the stress and anxieties of developmental tasks by using defense mechanisms, which vary in their effectiveness and maturity. In the context of intimacy vs. isolation, Valliant identified “affiliation” as one of the most mature and healthy coping mechanisms. Affiliation allows us to reduce the anxiety of developmental tasks by confiding in others and being willing to ask for and receive their help and support in solving problems. On the other hand, Valliant described “help-rejecting complaining” as an immature defense mechanism that keeps others at a distance at the expense of healthy development. Adults employing this response to anxiety will complain about their problems and yet reject offers to help, judging the suggestions as useless or “not good enough” (Di Giuseppe & Perry, 2021).

Psychologist Daniel Levinson also saw developmental value in establishing connections with others in early adulthood. Calling the developmental stages “eras,” Levinson’s Seasons of Life theory of adult development describes a transitional period of exploration between ages 17 and 22. During this time, young adults modify their relationships with friends and family to develop the independence needed to progress into the era of early adulthood. Levinson’s early adulthood era is characterized by pursuing life goals, such as leaving the parent’s home, as well as starting a career and marriage. Levinson suggests that the path to achieving these goals can be facilitated by a close mentoring relationship with a role model who can guide and support the young adult’s emerging independence and maturity, particularly in the workplace.

Like Valliant’s, Levinson’s theory was originally based on a longitudinal study of adult men. With his collaborator and wife Judy, however, Levinson later conducted a smaller-scale study on a cohort of career women born between 1936 and 1947, to examine the validity of his theory as applied to women. After her husband’s death, Judy Levinson published the results of this work in The Seasons of a Woman’s Life (1996). While the study found many similarities in men’s and women’s transitions and eras of early adulthood, it found women faced greater obstacles in reconciling education, career, and family responsibilities. They also met with greater gender discrimination in their career development, and they found it more difficult to establish effective mentoring relationships in the workplace because available mentors were usually men. As a result, many of the women studied described their husbands as their primary source of career mentoring and support, exhibiting a more direct link between the developmental tasks of intimacy and career development than their men counterparts did.

While Daniel Levinson was framing his theory of adult development in men, writer Gail Sheehy was researching the lives of men and women in their 20’s, 30s, and 40’s to explore the reality of adult development in the 20^th century. In the book Passages (1976), based on her work, Sheehy colorfully mapped out the decades of adulthood:

• “Tryout Twenties”: Age 18-30 is a “provisional adulthood” where there is room to explore options during a “prolonged adolescence,” when young people are still defined by others’ expectations.
• “Turbulent Thirties”: Age 30-40 is the first experience of true adulthood, in which individuals take on real adult roles and responsibility and challenge the idealistic aspirations of early adulthood.
• “Flourishing Forties:” Age 40-50 begins a “second adulthood,” fueled by a midlife crisis during which adults take stock of the goals and achievements of their “first adulthood” and attempt to realign their priorities to confidently and optimistically pursue meaningful goals in the second half of life.

The book was wildly popular for Sheehy’s engaging and relatable insights and was eventually named by the Library of Congress as one of the most influential books of its time. Twenty years later, Sheehy published the follow-up New Passages (1995), in which she more carefully examined the latter half of adulthood from her own perspective as an older adult. In this sequel, Sheehy noted that societal and cultural changes had created noticeable cohort differences in the developmental experience of adults from different generations, and that earlier conceptions of the stages of adulthood were outdated. She rejected the one-size-fits-all description of adult development that she and others had earlier endorsed, instead drawing attention to the way longer lifespans create increased opportunities for modern adults to “customize our own life cycle” in a way not possible decades earlier.